Promise Not To Wait
by Neellok
Summary: girl!Ryoma places a hand to her chest, stunned at the thudding of her heart. She's not supposed to love anyone more than tennis. But Tezuka Kunimitsu is just . . . perfect.


Title: Promise Not To Wait

Pairing: Tezuka/Girl!Ryoma

Summary: girl!Ryoma places a hand to her chest, stunned at the thudding of her heart. She's not supposed to love anyone more than tennis. But Tezuka Kunimitsu is just . . . perfect.

Ryoma's fingers went slack, sending the cell phone clattering to the floor. It could have cracked in half and she wouldn't have cared, because it wasn't possible. It just wasn't.

She knew that she was being selfish, oh-so-selfish at the moment, but she couldn't stop the childish desire to scream her denial. He wouldn't be able to hear it, not so far away, but it'd make Ryoma feel better, wouldn't it? The thought that she could voice her anger and despair that rushed through her and tangled all of her emotions into a huge knot didn't calm her racing heart at all.

That one sentence had ruined everything! Ryoma bit her lip to stop it from trembling and collapsed on her bed as if her strings had been cut. Her hands covered her ears, as if that alone would stop Ryoma from remembering the haunting words that Fuji had whispered in her ear only a few moments ago.

Had it been moments? Surely it had been hours, because it was already much too late to stop him. Wait… Ryoma winced at that thought. Mentally smacking herself for such a conceited notion. Tezuka was leaving. He'd finally taken the advice of Yamato Yudai: his former captain. It was finally time for Tezuka to stop being the pillar of support for the Seigaku men's tennis team and join the pro circuit.

And Ryoma couldn't quell the wish that he'd stay. That he wouldn't leave. That no one would leave Seigaku. Ever! She loved going to school, playing tennis, playing matches with Tezuka, going on random fieldtrips around Tokyo or just hanging out with the guys. Ryoma loved it more than she could ever put into words.

She curled into herself when she realized what would eventually happen. Tezuka would leave, then Fuji, the other third years, Momo, Kaidoh and finally herself. Ryoma buried her head in the pillow to mask her sobs. Yes, because she'd have to leave too. She couldn't stay fifteen forever, just as Tezuka couldn't—shouldn't—miss becoming a pro.

Ryoma tried to smile when she thought about everything that Tezuka would be able to do, but it appeared as a pained grimace. Tezuka would be busy with tournaments and training. He would travel to new cities all over the world and face many strong opponents.

While she would go to school every day and inevitably look for him during practice, wondering where he was and why Tezuka was late. Ryoma would eat lunch at the table the tennis club had claimed in their first year, the one she'd been accepted to after only a few weeks of attending her new school, and wonder if Tezuka was getting enough to eat. And as she walked home from another day of tennis practice, Ryoma would remember his smile and the sound of his voice as Tezuka ordered and encouraged his teammates to be the best they could be, and then surpass that.

Would she get used to it after a while? Would she start to forget his commanding presence on the court, or they day Tezuka had issued her the challenge to become more than what her dad made her? Would she forget his laugh when his teammates did something so silly that it broke through his serious demeanor?

Ryoma's sobs became harsher, soaking her pillow and making it even more difficult to breathe. She didn't want to forget! She didn't want him to leave her behind. That more than anything scared her the most. Ryoma had been left behind by so many people and she felt as if she had just started to catch up.

She never once thought that it would be Tezuka leaving first. Ryoma wanted to be annoyed, even the littlest bit at him for being the first person in years to leave her, but she couldn't dredge up that bitter of an emotion. Not when she was already feeling so much. She didn't want to break under the onslaught.

The sudden weight on the bed next to her jolted her. She glanced up and stared blurrily at her dad. She didn't bother to wipe her eyes. Ryoma waited for him to speak, as if a few simple words would be able to cure her sore heart. She knew that it was another improbable wish, but he was her dad. And Ryoma needed something to believe in again, even if the words were empty.

"What's wrong? And don't say nothing, because you have been crying in here for hours," he said, rubbing circles along her back in comfort.

Ryoma hiccupped. "He's leaving me behind. And I don't want to be left!"

Nanjiroh frowned at his daughter's response and then sighed. "Maybe he isn't leaving you behind… maybe you just need to catch up."

"What?" Her brain felt muddied and foggy from all of the crying. She massaged her temples to get rid of the headache that had been building for the last few minutes. The last thing she needed at the moment was an aching head to match her aching heart.

"Tezuka, right?" He smirked when a light blush suffused her blotchy cheeks. "As I thought. He came here before he accepted the invitation to the under-17 camp. He wanted to know when I knew I was ready to take on the world. I told him that if he had to ask, then he was ready."

Ryoma's breath caught in her throat. It was because of her dad. No… Tezuka would have gone anyway. Maybe not this soon, but he would have gone. Tennis was Tezuka's life and Ryoma refused to take that away from him.

"He believes in you, you know—that kid."

Ryoma shot up and stared at him with surprise. "He said that?" she demanded.

Nanjiroh chuckled and ruffled her hair as he got up from her bed. "He didn't have to. He says more with his eyes."

Ryoma placed a hand against her chest, stunned at the thudding of her heart. She wasn't supposed to love Tezuka more than tennis… but he was perfect. He made tennis fun again. Tezuka challenged her everyday to become a better person. He spent time with her after school, and ate lunch with her. She'd always been able to ask Tezuka for help with her homework or talk to him about troubles at home.

He sighed at the conflicted expression on his daughter's face. "It's okay to lo—like something more than tennis, Ryoma."

She blushed an even deeper red. "This is so stupid, Dad! I've never been in lo—like with anyone! How do I even know I like him like that?"

Nanjiroh froze at the question, eyes wide and mouth slack. A few seconds later a deep bellied laugh erupted into the silence. "Ah, you two are so similar." A fond smile graced his features. "If you have to ask… you already are."

It had been two days since Ryoma had gotten "The Call" and she still didn't know how she felt about it. She li—loved Tezuka. She loved him and Ryoma would never be able to tell him because he was leaving—left. Was he already in a cab on the way to the airport, or was he already on the plane? Maybe he wasn't even in the country anymore.

Ryoma sighed and absently petted Karupin. Karupin hadn't left her side in the past few days. It was as if Karupin was sad that Tezuka was moving away too. Or maybe she was just worried because of how melancholy Ryoma was being. Whatever the reason for her companionship, Ryoma was grateful.

"Oi, brat, you have a visitor!"

Ryoma grimaced at the thought of seeing anyone. Everyone on the regulars was at the under-17 camp. That only left Kachiro, Katsuo… and that annoying guy. She didn't mind the first two so much, but the last guy always tried to impress her with his very limited tennis ability. And Ryoma definitely wasn't in the mood to be entertaining or socialize. Why couldn't the world just leave her alone for a few days so she could have a good sulk?

"Coming!" she called. She knew that if she didn't go down, her dad would drag her if he had to. Sympathetic he may be, but he didn't pity her. He was still Ryoma's father and he wouldn't allow her to worry herself sick.

Ryoma trekked down the stairs and gave her dad a small smile in thanks for the space he and her mom had given her the past few days. She knew it hadn't been fair to them, but Ryoma had needed to work things out in her mind… and though she wasn't completely done yet, it was time to face the world.

She turned around, ready to face the guest that she really didn't want to deal with. She shuddered as if a cold wind had swept through the house. "Tezuka."

"Ah."

Ryoma watched Tezuka fidget for a few seconds, and then still. She sucked her bottom lip in her mouth to stop the ridiculous grin that wanted to appear. He was here. Tezuka wasn't on a plane. He was here, in her house, talking to her. Though Ryoma remained silent she had so many questions. She knew it wouldn't do any good. She couldn't—wouldn't—ask him to stay. He wouldn't want her to, because he knew that Ryoma would understand. Tennis was his dream, just as it was hers.

"I'm leaving to go pro."

Ryoma mentally cursed the tears that spilled down her cheeks at the pronouncement. She had known for days, and it still hadn't stopped the pang in her heart. "I know."

"I'm sorry that—"

She shook her head in denial. "No. Don't. You aren't leaving me behind, Tezuka, because I'm coming after you. Maybe not now… but someday."

Tezuka's tight shoulders slumped, as he gave her a soft smile. "Yes, someday."

Ryoma sniffled and impulsively threw herself into his arms. She clung to him, unwilling to let him go for however long she had. Ryoma silently pleaded that he wouldn't push her away, that he'd allow her to hold him, just this once. A fresh flood of tears soaked his shirt when Tezuka's arms enclosed around her shaking frame.

"I love you, Tezuka," she choked out. Ryoma knew that he heard her, even though it had been muffled against his chest.

"I love you too, Echizen," Tezuka whispered against her hair.

They valiantly tried to ignore the car horn that beeped loudly, and her father's unsubtle coughs in the hallway, only to realize that a goodbye couldn't last forever no matter how much they tried. Ryoma leaned against him for a few more seconds and then forced herself to pull away. She stepped away from the temptation of grabbing on and demanding that he take her with him, though she longed to.

Unable to resist the urge she leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him, soft lips against slightly chapped ones. Ryoma's eyes fluttered shut, and only opened when Tezuka pulled back, afraid that Tezuka had vanished with them.

Wrapped up in painfully happy feelings, a smile stretched her tingling lips. "Don't let your guard down."

Tezuka huffed a laugh at her words and cupped her face. "You still have lots more to work on." His eyes roamed her face as if he was memorizing her features and expression. "Just promise me that you won't take too long."

Her smiled wobbled. "It's a promise."

Ryoma gave him one last hug and then turned away, unable to handle the vision of him walking out the door. She waited until the door closed, and the sound of a car pulling away filled her ears before her legs gave way. She slumped on the floor. Tezuka was gone.

She buried her face in her cold hands, that had only a few moments before been around the man she loved, and wept. Ryoma made a promise that he wouldn't have to wait for her, that she would be right behind him. And she would keep it, but not today. It was too painful.


End file.
